I LOVE the solitude of taking my evening walks that consist of just me and the road (or sidewalk in some cases). I don't even use my iPod. It's just me, my thoughts and my Reebok Zigs. But today, I would have given anything to have someone with me. Not because I was lonely. Solely because I wish I had a witness to the strangeness that was my walk today.
Today's Stats
Now, I'm not one to make fun of others. Okay, I am. But not strangers. Okay, that's not true either. Well, I'm not one to make fun of strangers in writing, but I'm making an exception tonight.
For starters, it was a GREAT evening to walk. The rain cooled everything down and it was only 75 degrees when I headed out. That's fridgid compared to the 105 degree temps that I've been walking in. So, I guessed that the trail would be full of walkers/runners taking advantage of the weather. I did see a couple of "regulars" and we said our usual hellos as we passed. But apparently the rain also brought out a few newbies.
First, coming up the trail toward me was a young lady on the move. She had her tennis shoes on so I guess she was out for a little exercise. It was her black dress with pink ruffles that threw me. On this trail you can usually see someone coming for a while so I had plenty of time to process before we actually came face to face. Now, I have nothing against black dresses with pink ruffles for those who can pull off that look. It's just not something you typically see on a walking trail. She was wearing black socks too so at least she was coordinated.
Wait, there's more. As I'm processing the outfit, I hear her singing along, rather loudly, to her Walkman. Yes, I said Walkman. For those of you born since 1985, a Walkman is similar to an iPod but it plays cassettes. Cassettes are similar to CDs but... anyway, you get my point. A Walkman. I didn't even know those still existed. But here's the girl in the black dress with the pink ruffles singing, loudly, to her Walkman as she came walking by.
You can't help but make eye contact on this trail. I mean, it puts you a maximum of 4 feet apart and it's just the two of you and some trees. In other words, you have to try hard to NOT make eye contact. The girl in the black dress with the pink ruffles singing on her Walkman tried hard. So as I'm prepared to say my friendly hello with a smile and a nod, my usual passing on the trail greeting, I am denied. Instead, she stops singing for a silent 10 feet and passed by with both eyes glued to the ground. However, after she had reached a safe distance of 5 feet behind me she did begin singing again.
Odd, yes. The end of the oddity, no.
Later on this same trail, I see another "new guy" peddling toward me on a bike. That's nothing too strange, right? You had to be there. Picture a guy about the size of Newman from Seinfeld riding a bike about the size of the one your 7 year old nephew may own. Big guy, tiny bike. Come on! That's always funny! But now picture the guy about the size of Newman peddling the tiny bike toward me. Again, I had time to process and had my hello, smile and nod all ready to go. Nope! Denied again!
This time I even went ahead and said hello. After all, he wasn't listening to a Walkman so I knew there was a good chance he would HEAR me. I'm pretty sure he did because he looked right at me. As a matter of fact, he looked right at me for a long and awkward 3 seconds as he slowly peddled by. And didn't say hello. Or anything for that matter. It was actually a little creepy. But not the end.
As I continued walking and processing why he looked right at me but but said nothing, I heard something coming up behind me. This is odd because you don't hear much on this trail other than birds and water. Actually, people run or ride up behind you and you may not hear them until they are right behind you. Not this time. I heard him coming! After all, a tiny bike under a big guy makes a lot of noise! I turned around to see the guy the size of Newman peddling at FULL SPEED up the trail towards me. When I say full speed, I mean he was standing up while peddling. Well, as much as a guy the size of Newman can stand up on a tiny bike.
I have to tell you, I considered running. I mean, he had to have turned around only 20-30 yards behind me and he HAD just creeped me out with his failure to verbalize and now he was peddling up behind me at FULL SPEED! But alas, he just flew around me and up the trail. I did get a half moon though as his shirt rose and his pants fell as he peddled his tiny bike at full speed. The best part was when he tried to stop ahead and just lowered both feet to the ground to do it. I'm unsure if the bike was without brakes or if he just thought that was a cool way to do it.
Again, odd. But not the end of the oddity.
Last but not least, the final leg of my walk had me walking up the street parallel to a guy in blue boat shoes, white tube socks, khaki shorts, a yellow shirt and a pith helmet. Yes, pith helmet. I don't know. Maybe a guy out walking in a pith helmet isn't funny to you. But maybe you live in Africa where safaris are the norm. If that's the case, maybe right now your cracking up at the boat shoes.
Pith Helmet
Either way, it boils down to odd. Black dresses with pink ruffles, big guys on tiny bikes, boat shoes and pith helmets. Odd, but entertaining. And NO ONE there to witness it!!
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